Monday, Sept. 22, 2003 - 7:47 p.m.
I�m not very good at grading papers. I mean, I think I�m fair and helpful to the students, but the actual act of sitting down and getting them done taxes me to no end. After about three I have to get up and wander around. Or type this, as the case may be.
I woke up at 6 AM. It was sooo early. It was dark. Even the cat, nocturnal though she may be, lifted her head only long enough to stare at me in disbelief as I staggered around pulling on a skirt. She then fell back asleep.
It was all my own fault, too, this early start: I elected to sit by L�s pool, drink beer, watch �The Bat�, watch �Vanilla Sky� (Tom Cruise never gets any less repulsive; I hate that guy), go to the flea market (where I bought an old-fashioned meat grinder for making cranberry-orange relish), and mess around on Metafilter (where they still won�t accept me as a member) instead of making lesson plans and assignments. I have learned my lesson, at least for this week.
I came right home and took a nap, which always makes me feel funny. I sleep so deeply that I awake after even 40 minutes feeling groggy, confused, and in need of coffee and a shower.
I watched some of the Miss America pageant this weekend. The beginning was hilarious: each contestant had to give a perky, head-tossing soundbite about her name, hometown, and a random fact or two. Most of these were along the lines of �I went skydiving last year!� or �I was featured on �Who Wants To Be A Millionaire�!�
I started trying to compose my own Miss America soundbite, mostly unsuccessfully; I feel simultaneously proud and unnerved by my inability to produce a solitary catchy example of how exciting my life is. It IS exciting, and of course I�d be way more fun to hang out with than Miss North Dakota, but I�m not sure I can convey that to you in a sentence or two.
And, on a second viewing, Miss North Dakota does seem like a real hoot. Her thesis was about boobs.
But in the spirit of self-categorization, I present some Miss America-style soundbites for those two or three of you reading this who might not be my friends already. You must imagine me half-shouting these through bleached teeth, blinking eighty times a minute:
My name�s Eva! I was born in Hawaii, where I lived in Hawaii Volcanoes National Park until age 8!
I moved to Golden, Colorado in 1987, where I went to a public alternative school for high school!
I have backpacked throughout the Southwest!
I didn�t have many friends as a child, because I was bossy and read books all the time!
I had a brief stint as a metalhead in junior high, and in twelfth grade I fancied myself a raver!
In sixth grade I wrote an article about dinosaur footprints found near Morrison, Colorado for a Japanese newspaper!
I don�t like navy blue!
I play bass in an indie rock band! I played in a different one in Durango, where I got my bachelor�s degree in English and Southwest Studies!
I have a master�s degree in linguistics!
I have no idea what I want to do with myself!
Um�I want to educate dolphins and mentally disabled children about our wonderful governmentally mandated system of equal rights!
I lost my virginity at age fifteen to a boy with a very funny name! We were in my teacher�s bed, because he was housesitting!
I have one brother!
I have one cat!
I�m exhausting myself with this. You�d think Friendster would have cashed out my desire for self-description�but I really hate the music-movies-books questions.
I hung out with my friend C last night, who has been exploring the land of personal ads. She says it�s been awful: time-consuming, flaky, a bit creepy. I haven�t seen her ad, but I�ve been wondering what mine might say. Maybe next time you�ll get my personal ad.
Or maybe next time you�ll get some better answers to better questions. Send some in!