Tuesday, Oct. 07, 2003 - 10:19 p.m. I just woke up from one of those naps that are the reason I don�t take naps. I slept for two heavy, groggy hours, only awoken by the cat, whom I might have been rolling over onto (witness, my friend, the humble Preposition). Now it�s nighttime and I haven�t fulfilled any of my evening plans. My laundry in the downstairs laundry room is wet and guarded by spiders; there are no lights down there. I have been feeling grumpy for the last few days, a feeling which only worsened when L and I watched the movie The Swimmer (based on a John Cheever short story; TRULY unsettling in a way I couldn�t chase off with irony, despite the film�s ample 1960sness; that link is worth reading, as are the Amazon reviews). This morning�s fog and darkness didn�t help much, either. It�s just not a very fun week: I have to tell students their midterm grades, and even though I�m the easiest grader in the cosmos, there are a few Ds (the Fs don�t even show up to their conferences, generally). I�m ready for a break. Fortunately, I�ll have just that from Friday through Tuesday. I have a few plans. Starting Friday, I�m going to take an Internet Break for several days. I think it�s time. L and I are going to Durham for a night to do pretty much nothing. And� To keep you entertained in the meantime, I am beginning the Seventh Grade Diary Project. When I was twelve, I received a journal for Christmas. I began writing in it on January 1, 1991. I continued steadily for two months. I will post the full text of the diary here, intermittently, and I will work on some page scans to be posted at Clever Title, my ha;f-assed website. Nothing will be edited except the last names of certain individuals. I�m nervous about it. Though most of the diary is just hilarious, some of it is ugly. I was trying very hard to have an identity, both assuming and fighting with the Teen Girl Persona as prescribed by Seventeen magazine and rock radio. I was listening to my own music for the first time; only a year earlier I�d listed my favorite song as �I�ve Been Working on the Railroad�, but by seventh grade I�d switched to bad radio metal. I was weaving in and out of nerddom, simultaneously winning spelling bees and scowling at teachers. I�d grown several inches in the past year and was no longer a chubby kid. I was being a bad friend, a dumb girl, a cruel daughter � I was being twelve years old, yes, but twelve years old is a horrible thing to be. Pathos aside, I hope you enjoy it. I welcome comments, questions, abuse, commiseration, and deconstruction. Here are the first several entries: January 1 Dear Diary - Happy New Year! It�s been years since I tried to write in one of these things. I am 12 years old and am about 5�4�. I weigh almost 115, even though I don�t look big at all. I just started my period in early December! I I like a guy named Shane, from Texas. I am known widely to the world as Veggie, since I�m a lacto-ovo vegetarian. That�s what Shane calls me. Alisun knew him in Texas! My almost best friend is Jennifer D., a Jehovah�s Witness from Louisiana. �Veggie January 2 Dear Diary � I went to the Art Museum today, and it was kind of boring. Frank Lloyd Wright was actually Tom W.�s grandfather! Speaking of Tom W., I�m going back to Hawaii 4 the summer!!! I can�t wait! I wrote to Serena yesterday. I really hate this guy named Matt C. He always calls me. Maybe I should write 2 Seventeen about it. I really like Shane. That�s so cool Alisun knows him. Now I have something to talk 2 him about! I think I�m actually kind of pretty. Not to brag. I wear eyeshadow (sage), lipstick, powder, and mascara. Mom doesn�t even notice! - Veggie [Tom W. was my family�s neighbor in Hawaii] January 3 Dear Diary � I went to Villa today. I got the new Tesla tape, but none of the stores had Slaughter! I also traded in my Anne of Green Gables books for Calvin and Hobbes. I�m starting a Seventeen diet that�s supposed to be really great. Hhmmm. It�s so foggy and smoggy and cold today. I saw Larry at Villa. Right now Alisun is watching TV. Big surprise. I�m getting sick of my Mom. I can�t say Shut up or even Get a life!! I do anyway. I�ll never do that to my kids! - Veggie [�Villa� refers to the Villa Italia Mall. At this point I began accompanying my signature with a drawing of a carrot.] January 4 Dear Diary � Me, Alisun, Jerod, + Russell went to see Edward Scissorhands today. It was rated PG-13 (a world record for my mom), + very sad, but I ♥-ed it. Vacation is getting shorter by the day. Matt C. is someone I have to tell about. I used to think he was cute, so I asked him out. He will go out with anyone, so he said yes. I went out with him 4 1 day, + he wrote notes like �when can I de-virginize you?�!! I broke up with him the very next morning, but he still bugs me. He calls all the time. One call from him ruins my day. He is on drugs + has smoked since 4th grade!! Just writing about him makes me sick! Peace. - Veggie I�ll put more up soon. I assure you, it picks up shortly. Peace. � Veggie.
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