Tuesday, Jan. 13, 2004 - 3:57 p.m.
I'm back! And this time it's for real.
I am in South Carolina now. I think I like my students, and I know I like my classroom: big and well-lit, with a whiteboard. The writing center doesn't open until next week, and aside from a surfeit of grade appeals from last semester, all is well.
All was not well when I first got back. I needed a vacation from my vacation, where even though I had lots of time to myself, I didn't exacly have time alone (only one guest room at my parents' house + two siblings at home = one on the futon, one in the guest room, someone in the house at all times). But I got back here and spent the first weekend at L's, where I was grumpy. I just needed to get home and pay my bills and sweep my floor and make fun of my cat ALONE. So even though I was happy to see him, I was also annoyed and probably not very friendly. Things are better now: I made him some French bread and fish soup at my own apartment and felt much better.
My mom said something shortly before I left that has stressed out to no end ever since: she said I didn't seem to like teaching very much, and though I should consider that a red flag. Shit. I know she probably stressed out herself about whether to say this to me, and I see why. I don't know. I am constantly annoyed by teaching, but I don't think I dislike it. In fact, I think I like it more than most people do. Some things about it I really do love. And I'm good at it. Bah. This will be a theme in the months ahead, I fear.
I feel okay. Not fabulous, not bad. I will go home now.